Dating advice long term relationships
CHALLENGES Counselling Psychologist, Banetsi Mphunga, outlines some of the challenges that someone who finds themselves in this predicament faces.“Depending on one’s reason for exiting that relationship, the person is more likely to enter a new relationship on guard, so that whatever happened in the person’s previous relationship doesn’t happen again,” Mphunga says.He can’t change overnight for you, so try and remind yourself of the reasons you fell in love with him in the first place.TIP: Download the guide to making your husband stay committed to the marriage. Trust Trust is as basic to a relationship as food is to survive.“Also, often times the person will have a lot of trust issues, and a deep-set sense of insecurity to such an extent that everything that the person will do will be for the approval of the other party in the relationship, in an effort to prove to the partner that he/she is enough for the them.” Mphunga also says that one could also be emotionally unavailable in the new relationship because he/she entered into it not because he/she wanted to, but because the situation one found him/herself called for it.
If one or both of you have insecurities – jealousy, possessiveness, etc., you need to be able to confide in the other about it.
The break-up of a relationship can be very damaging to our self-esteem, particularly when it comes to feeling attractive and sexy.
What’s more, in the security and intimacy of a long-term relationship, looking after our appearance can become a low priority; we may get out of the habit of looking for clothes that really suit us, or of spending time on grooming, because we associate these habits with our younger and (maybe) vainer selves.
When you are in the initial stages of dating, you are eager to impress one another and you do whatever it takes to make it work. In order for a relationship to grow, the couple involved has to grow with it.
But as you get into a relationship and settle into it, you start taking each other for granted or get lazy. If you are in a long-term relationship and you feel it’s stagnating, take a long, hard look at it.